Oct 5, 2009 09:33
14 yrs ago
1 viewer *
French term

un territoire, toutes les exigences

French to English Marketing Advertising / Public Relations higher education
"[Name of town], un territoire, toutes les exigences"
is the first heading inside a brochure for a university.
It goes on to say that the university is located in a vibrant urban area with a young population, many other educational establishments, high-tech companies which have set up head offices there, the place has many facilities and is well served by road and rail links, etc.
I thought this title was rather lame and turned it inside out as "an area in great demand", but the customer did not like that at all. Suggestions please? Thank you.
Change log

Oct 5, 2009 09:34: writeaway changed "Field" from "Other" to "Marketing"

Discussion

Kari Foster (asker) Oct 5, 2009:
Other headings in the brochure The sub-headings under this one are: UNE CAPITALE ECONOMIQUE and UN TERRITOIRE POUR TOUS.
The next major headings are: UN CHOIX DE FORMATIONS, UNE RECHERCHE AVANCEE, UNE QUALITE DE VIE.
Slightly odd use of articles throughout.
Kari Foster (asker) Oct 5, 2009:
Good question, Helen I would say that it is trying to attract students.

By the way, I have now found an old version of the brochure which translates the heading as "A sought-after location", which is sort of back-to-front, as my version was.
Helen Shiner Oct 5, 2009:
Hi Kari at whom is the brochure aimed? Is it students or an investment company, for instance? It would help to get the register right.

Proposed translations

8 hrs
Selected

everything you need is right here

My suggestion.
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "After much deliberation, I have used this version, hoping the customer will like it. Thank you to everyone for your help."
1 min

A town for all tastes

A simple option.

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Note added at 2 mins (2009-10-05 09:35:37 GMT)
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(catering for all tastes is also possible)
Note from asker:
Later on there is a heading "something for everyone", so that idea is already covered
Peer comment(s):

neutral writeaway : why town? and why tastes? not much punch for a marketing text
1 min
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7 mins

Direction of demand

I imagine it's not meant to mean that the area is in great demand but that it meets all the demands (of the young, vibrant, studious, industrious, party-loving, want-to-go-home-every-weekend-and-have-Mum-do-the-laundry set they want to attract).
Similarly, territoire suggests that it's not just some non-descript town plonked in the middle of nowhere but a (vibrant, studious, industrious, party-loving etc.) locality bursting with a character that has stamped its identity on the surrounding territoire, a hinterland packed with opportunity for all the studious, industrious and party-loving activities these brats might wish to enjoy when they're not travelling home to have Mum cook for them and wash their soiled underwear.

(Town), an identity/character/heritage that meets every demand.
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9 mins

A town with everything to offer.

Perhaps this might work? Or maybe "An area ..."
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28 mins

one area/town, satisfying every need

one town satisfying all needs

one town to satisfy all needs


I think the whole point/impetus of the slogan (?) lies in the contrast between "un" and "toutes", which is why I think it's important to translate "un" with "one" rather than simply "a". Without that, as you say, it does sound "lame".

And I see nothing wrong with "town" here, as we have already been told that XXX is the name of a town.

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Note added at 30 mins (2009-10-05 10:03:13 GMT)
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or, how about

ONE TOWN FOR ALL NEEDS
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34 mins

[name of town]; whatever you're looking for - it's here

An attempt to 'sell' this mythical location.

Bourth captured it very well, I think.
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42 mins

everything you could want within easy reach

perhaps the wider sense of "territoire" can be expressed using reach in this way
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56 mins

an all-inclusive area/town

perhaps!
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1 hr

an area/territory with high standards

I think "standards" goes rather well with the academic aspect.
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1 hr

a living, working hub / a vibrant hub for living and working

An attempt to get the sense of a zone of activity rather than a town. I think EN needs something a bit more punchy particularly since this is a marketing text. The 'living and working' thing is because they are trying to get across that this is a 'cool' place to work/study but also to live with everything at a student's fingertips.

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Note added at 1 hr (2009-10-05 10:49:13 GMT)
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I am sure someone could come up with something better than hub, though. Perhaps 'quarter' has the right register.
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1 hr

Everything you need - in just one place

Another suggestion to add to the list.....
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1 hr

X [the town/area] - Top of the Class (for Meeting Your Needs)

I'd be inclined to drop the bit in brackets, as it seems to be cobvered in the text beneath the heading.

"The Town for the Gown" if you want a corny alternative
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1 hr

The town that meets up to all your expectations

Hi Kari, I'd maybe put 'the' in italics to create more emphasis
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+3
2 hrs

XXX, A world of opportunities in one city / area

This seems to be a Hihger Ed. context so "opportunities" makes sense. You could also go for the more colloquial, "one place that has everything you could ever ask for / wish for"

Peer comment(s):

agree philgoddard : I'd go for city rather than area.
1 hr
agree Emma Paulay : "a world of opportunities all in one place" sounds good to me.
3 hrs
agree Catherine Gilsenan
1 day 9 hrs
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5 hrs

a one stop City

:)
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