Glossary entry

Portuguese term or phrase:

Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim

English translation:

Child, he was another... // He dwells with me and within me

Added to glossary by Oliver Simões
This question was closed without grading. Reason: No acceptable answer
Apr 21, 2022 16:44
2 yrs ago
17 viewers *
Portuguese term

Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim

Portuguese to English Other Poetry & Literature Lyrical poetry
Criança, era outro...
Naquele em que me tornei
Cresci e esqueci.
Tenho de meu, agora, um silêncio, uma lei.
Ganhei ou perdi?

Onde, em jardins exaustos
Nada já tenha fim,
Forma teus fúteis faustos
De tédio e de cetim.
Meus sonhos são exaustos,
Dorme comigo e em mim.
-- Fernando Pessoa

According to the following literary analysis, the first line of the first stanza forms an anacoluthon (see def. below) with the last line of the second stanza. I'm not clear how these two lines can be put together in a way that makes sense. The author says that the anacoluthon can only be noticed thanks to the "verbal agreement". Sure, the verb is in the third person singular, but does that mean that "criança" is indeed the subject? The author seems to ignore the comma right after "criança" (what happened to that golden rule that says that subject and predicate cannot be separated by a comma?). Indeed, there is a lack of agreement between the first two lines, which makes the anacoluthon hypothesis credible. But who is the subject? If "criança" indeed is the subject, what is the comma doing there? Any thoughts/insights that will shed some light on this hazy mess is greatly appreciated. :-)

anacoluthon: a sentence or construction in which the expected grammatical sequence is absent, for example while in the garden, the door banged shut. (Lexico.com)

Este poema (bem como a maior parte dos que tematizam criança/infância) inscreve-se na lírica pessoana, assinada por ele mesmo (ou Fernando Pessoa ortônimo). Como poeta ortônimo a pluralidade atravessa a ponte, que leva do eu plural para a alteridade múltipla do “ser português”; quer no cantar plural (ritmos e formas tradicionais), quer no recorte aqui abordado, a “saudade”, marca legítima do sentir português, saudade da criança que foi, do tempo transcorrido, não em pranto lacrimoso, mas em presentificação que eterniza. O anacoluto “precioso” do primeiro verso da primeira estrofe que só se completará no último verso da segunda estrofe: “CRIANÇA era outro ... dorme comigo e em mim”; só pode ser registrado pela concordância verbal. O leitor distraído pensa tratar-se dos sonhos, mas destes o poeta indica o esgotamento. “Cresci e esqueci”. A afirmação da criança ser o oposto do homem do presente, torna-se paradoxal, pois ela “dorme comigo e em mim”. O despertar está contido no dormir, o poeta deixa a incompletude para ser preenchida pelo leitor, que terá de optar pelo quê de subentendido permanece, na síntese do poeta. O último verso interroga: ganhei ou perdi? No texto subjacente, o eu perquiridor do poeta tece oposições: hoje silêncio, lei. Portanto, reflexão, escolhas, caminhos, verdades, conclusões, sentenças até a formulação da lei. E quando criança, quando o seu despertar? https://uniesp.edu.br/sites/_biblioteca/revista_tema/pdf/201...

L2: EN_US
Register: poetic
Change log

Apr 22, 2022 13:59: Oliver Simões Created KOG entry

Apr 22, 2022 14:02: Oliver Simões changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/2407412">Oliver Simões's</a> old entry - "Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim"" to ""Child, he was another... // He sleeps with and within myself.""

Apr 22, 2022 14:02: Oliver Simões changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/2407412">Oliver Simões's</a> old entry - "Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim"" to ""Child, it was another... // He sleeps with and within myself.""

Apr 22, 2022 14:15: Oliver Simões changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/2407412">Oliver Simões's</a> old entry - "Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim"" to ""Child, he was another... // He sleeps with and within myself.""

Apr 22, 2022 21:09: Oliver Simões changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/2407412">Oliver Simões's</a> old entry - "Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim"" to ""Child, he was another... // He dwells with and within myself.""

Apr 22, 2022 23:36: Oliver Simões changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/2407412">Oliver Simões's</a> old entry - "Criança, era outro... // Dorme comigo e em mim"" to ""Child, he was another... // He dwells with and within me""

Discussion

Oliver Simões (asker) Apr 22, 2022:
Mark Why should the horse drink murky water? It doesn't have to... unless it has no reasoning power to discriminate. Sorry, none of the translations fit my context to satisfaction: 1) "sleep" is NOT a good choice for this context, not poetic enough; "dwell" is far better. 2) there is no "but" in the poem, so this connector is uncalled for. 3) there is no reason to replace "another" with "different". (BTW, "outro" is a recurring word in his poetry.) 4) None of the translations captured the apposition, since the appositive comma is missing in all of them! I hope this helps explain my decision. Thanks.
Mark Robertson Apr 22, 2022:
@Oliver You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Your use of the untriggered reflexive "myself" is incorrect. This form should best be used reflexively or intensively, and not as a substitute for I or me.

The second part of your answer should read "He dwells with and within me."

See Garner's Modern English Usage, pages 611-612.
Oliver Simões (asker) Apr 22, 2022:
@Mark As I just posted on the DB for another question, the first two lines don't go together. Clearly, the comma cannot be ignored, it was not an oversight (or a poetic license) on the part of the poet. In this case, the comma indicates an apposition on line 1. I cannot see any other explanation that makes sense. After further investigation and analysis, this is what makes the most sense to me: "Child, he was another... / He dwells with and within myself". (Hopefully, this explains the suspension points, as it clearly marks the connection between the first and the last lines.) Lines 2 and 3 go together, with 2 coming first in English grammar: "I grew up and forgot / That which I have become."
Mark Robertson Apr 22, 2022:
@Oliver Your questions 1. The author says that the anacoluthon can only be noticed thanks to the "verbal agreement".

The first line ends with reticências, which, when properly used, indicate interruption of thought, i.e. the anacoluthon. Criança must be the subject because the only other candidates are "sonhos" or the poet's "I".

2. The author seems to ignore the comma right after "criança" (what happened to that golden rule that says that subject and predicate cannot be separated by a comma?). Forget the strict use of punctuation. This is poetry. "a pontuação de um poema poder assumir qualquer desejada pelo autor" https://www.ehow.com.br/pontuar-poema-como_272354/ ,

3. The "era" in the first line is in the 1st person singular, i.e. the poet's "I", so the line means "em criança, (eu) era outro".
Mark Robertson Apr 22, 2022:
@Oliver Criança, era outro... WHEN A CHILD, I WAS DIFFERENT…
Naquele em que me tornei BUT, TO BECOME WHAT I AM
Cresci e esqueci. I GREW AND FORGOT.
Tenho de meu, agora, um silêncio, uma lei. MY LIFE IS NOW MY SILENCE AND MY LAW.
Ganhei ou perdi? DID I WIN OR LOSE?

Onde, em jardins exaustos I LIVE IN WEARY GARDENS
Nada já tenha fim, WHERE ALL IS CEASELESS
Forma teus fúteis faustos IN FUTILE POMPS
De tédio e de cetim. OF DRAB AND SATIN.
Meus sonhos são exaustos, MY DREAMS ARE GONE,
Dorme comigo e em mim. BUT THAT CHILD STILL SLEEPS IN ME.

philgoddard Apr 21, 2022:
I'm not sure I follow your question, but doesn't it mean "child, it was another"?
Oliver Simões (asker) Apr 21, 2022:
Clarification In case my question was not clear, I'm not just looking for a one-line translation. I also need an explanation in regards to the issues I have raised. I hope it's clear now.

Proposed translations

51 mins

(The) child was another

(The) child was another
Note from asker:
Sorry, that's not what I am looking for. Please read my comment on the DB. Thank you.
Something went wrong...
2 hrs

As a child it was different....// they sleep with and inside of me

Where, in weary gardens
Nothing ever ends,
Shape your futile frustrations
Out of boredom and satin.
My dreams are exhausted,
They sleep with me and inside of me.
Something went wrong...
19 hrs

When a child, I was different... / But that child still sleeps in me.

See discussion entries.
Something went wrong...
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search