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estaba al acecho
terebintina
Dec 25, 2021 07:49
2 yrs ago
23 viewers *
Spanish term

los galopes de los caballos que se alejaban

Spanish to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature Literature.
I would like to know the best translation of this phrase from Latin American Spanish into American English. Translator colleagues from Spain, feel free to send me your suggestions as well. This is a translation about the story of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.

Here is the full paragraph for your review:

Estaban fuera arrestando a los ladrones, y al parecer lo habían conseguido, porque se escucharon los galopes de los caballos que se alejaban en dirección a la ciudad.

“””Pero Alí babá se preguntaba si el ladrón que estaba con él había sido también arrestado ya que aunque la entrada de la cueva había permanecido cerrada, no había escuchado moverse al bandido en ningún momento. Con mucha calma, fue caminando hacia....
Proposed translations (English)
4 +2 the sound of galloping horses fading away as they headed towards the city.
4 +2 They heard the horses galloping away
4 The sound of horses' hooves
3 the galloping horses disappeared in the distance
References
The horses gallop that ran away to move...

Discussion

Lisa Rosengard Jan 4, 2022:
I think there was a discussion about horse-drawn carriages, which I believe were a form of transport in the olden times of England. In the AliBaba legend I got the picture of officers or guards riding away on horseback. (thanks Simone)
José Patrício Dec 30, 2021:
OK, regards and happy New Year!
Taña Dalglish Dec 29, 2021:
José Patricio It is not a question of "... horses setting off at a gallop" - they were already galloping away; it is that the "sound of galloping horses fading away heading towards (heading in the direction of) the city. You've not included "alejarse" in your new suggestion. However, there are now 4 other proposals and you could draw something from each one to come up with your own version! But, there are already some good entries. Regards.
José Patrício Dec 29, 2021:
And what about 'set off at a gallop'?
Marcelo González Dec 28, 2021:
Just for the record ... ..."carriage" was part and parcel of my original post/suggestion, as I included the words "or 'carriage'" immediately below, and, very importantly, without it being part of any explanation, hence, I suppose, ormiston's agree to my suggestion. As for the historical accuracy question, translation has been described as 'cultural adaptation' where historical and geographical considerations may not always be of primary importance. // A covid-safe and happy 2022, everyone :-)
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
The comments were edited and I wish I had a print. If you read mine I said carriage but in Ali Baba's time, it was a chariot. I work with history!
Taña Dalglish Dec 26, 2021:
@ ormiston I do not want to belabour this discussion as it is getting out of hand. You made two entries on the other question (chariot/rickshaw/buggy, etc.), and perhaps why Simone was confused a little (your agreement with carriage was via comment only). Nevertheless, and I hope this ends the discussion here and now and that is the following: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carriage (came from Old Northern French about the beginning of the 14th century); "chariot" is even older (The earliest recorded sort of carriage was the chariot, reaching Mesopotamia as early as 1900 BC). My point is that it is not our decision to chose the appropriate word (for its time), but that of the Asker).
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
It's Boxing Day, let me stay clear of this nonsense for a while. Not worth it.
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
Exactly, you voted for the options buggy and rickshaw, saying you preferred chariot, but I wrote chariot, I was the second person to comment, and you ignored me. Is that not deliberate? The sentence here is dubious. It could be either way, which does not make my sentence wrong. Not my fault for calling you he if you won't use your real name here.
ormiston Dec 26, 2021:
Do please read the 'chariot' postings I have only endorsed 'carriage' not chariot.
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
Exactly, you voted for the options buggy and rickshaw, saying you preferred chariot, but I wrote chariot, I was the second person to comment, and you ignored me. Is that not deliberate? The sentence here is dubious. It could be either way, which does not make my sentence wrong. Not my fault for calling you he if you won't use your real name here.
ormiston Dec 26, 2021:
Taña & Simone I sincerely meant no personal offence, pointing out that I think the subject of the sentence is more likely to be the horses. Do please check the discussion about 'chariot'. And by the way I'm a 'she'. All the best for 2022...!
Taña Dalglish Dec 26, 2021:
@ Ormiston Simone's complete rendering was/is: "***the sound of galloping horses fading away*** as they headed towards the city", and you gave her a neutral and remarked, "It's not the sound fading - it's the horses themselves heading off." IMO, ormiston, can you elaborate further and clarify exactly what you mean! I am really curious myself, and confused! Regards, and all the best for the Season!
José Patrício Dec 26, 2021:
Andrew Bramhall: Right idea, but not idiomatic;//"set off at a gallop" is fine!
see Refcomm
Taña Dalglish Dec 26, 2021:
@ Simone Taylor I know. Please inbox me for more thoughts. Please ... (You can go to my profile page and send an e-mail there). Regards and all the best for the Season!
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
Thank you. Sometimes people set out deliberately to invalidate people's answers instead of helping the asker. On another thread from this same story, I wrote down "chariot", and Ormiston deliberately agreed to two other options: buggy and rickshaw, commenting that he actually preferred chariot but didn't vote for chariot I had written. You can clearly see when people go on about creating this terrible atmosphere, but I won't fall for that, and I will continue just to try to help the asker in the best way I can and to be fair. On another thread, he was really rude to Lisa. I don't know how moderators don't see that.
Taña Dalglish Dec 26, 2021:
@ Simone Taylor Perhaps my own agree to your proposal was confusing too and I should have been much clearer that it was either or. I don't agree that your entry warrants the neutral remarks.
Simone Taylor Dec 26, 2021:
The way it is written is ambiguous and it could be both the sound or the horses fading away, no reason to invalidate answers for that reason.

Proposed translations

+2
1 hr
Selected

the sound of galloping horses fading away as they headed towards the city.

Sometimes to put it in English you need to reshuffle the whole sentence rather than just picking up the segment you chose.
Note from asker:
Thanks Miss Simone. I'm sorry about the delay. I'm experiencing many problems with my internet.
Peer comment(s):
neutral Andrew Bramhall : "fading into the distance" would be better, given that ' alejarse' is in the original text;//No a neutral because your version could imply the horses are dying of starvation! It's the SOUND of their hooves which is fading away! Nobody is ganging up on you
1 hr
Seriuosly, a neutral because you think I should add something redundant that is not there?
agree Taña Dalglish : Your rendering is fine, IMO - "fading away"/into the distance" ...
8 hrs
Yes, Tana, but a redundancy is not enough for giving me a neutral, they could give me an agree like you.
neutral ormiston : It's not the sound fading - it's the horses themselves heading off...
12 hrs
You two are clearly ganging up on me for no reason, there is nothing wrong with my sentence, and the ganging up is not only on this thread.
agree Marcelo González : A slight change in perspective may be fine; in fact, in their influential work in translation, Vinay and Darbelnet (1958) call it "modulation," resulting in “a variation of the form of the message, obtained by a change in the point of view” (133).
2 days 17 hrs
Not to mention the original is ambiguous and render both interpretations.
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Thanks a lot."
1 hr

The sound of horses' hooves

..., because they heard the sound of horses' hooves heading / trailing off in the direction of the city;

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2021-12-25 09:14:55 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

The sense of 'alejarse' is 'retreating', in general terms.
Note from asker:
Thanks a lot.
Something went wrong...
+2
3 hrs

They heard the horses galloping away

¡Felices fiestas!
Note from asker:
Thanks Ormiston. Merry Christmas!!
Peer comment(s):
agree Barbara Cochran, MFA : Or "galloping off, in the direction, etc."
2 hrs
Agree - off towards...
agree Marcelo González : This sticks nicely to the source text 'point of view' while producing what may be the 'closest natural equivalent' here. :-) That said, changes in point of view may be fine as well, when deemed appropriate, hence my agree with Simone's suggestion, too.
2 days 15 hrs
Something went wrong...
3 days 22 hrs

the galloping horses disappeared in the distance

According to the narrative:
'The thieves were arrested, police on horseback went away to the city. Meanwhile, AliBaba wondered if the one who he'd been with had also been arrested, while the entrance to the cave remained closed, with no sound of any movement.'

'Los ladrones fueron arrestados, la guardía a caballo fue hacia la ciudad. Mientras tanto, AliBaba se preguntaba si arrestaron también al uno con quien había estado, y la entrada de la cueva se quedó cerrada sin ningún sonido ni movimiento.'
Note from asker:
Thanks Lisa.
Something went wrong...

Reference comments

1 hr
Reference:

The horses gallop that ran away
to move away
to walk away
alejarse de algo/algn - https://www.lexico.com/es-en/traducir/alejar
Note from asker:
Thanks a lot.
Peer comments on this reference comment:
neutral Andrew Bramhall : Right idea, but not idiomatic;//"set off at a gallop" is fine!
15 mins
The cowboys set off at a gallop - https://www.ingles.com/traductor/galope
Something went wrong...
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